Winter Spanks Blog Hop

Winter Spanks Blog HopHappy New Year and welcome to my stop on the Winter Spanks Blog Hop :).

I have a real life  spanking tale for you today about a mistake I made when I was trying (honestly I was!) to help a good friend of mine. I was visiting said friend, who we shall call Chris (not his real name) to protect the sadistic, vicious… that is, I mean to say *coughs* lovely and kind friend of mine ;). I was in his kitchen on a very cold January day and noticed that the coffee pot was empty and the machine was still plugged in so, being a helpful sort, I pressed the switch on the wall to turn it off.

So far, so good, except the following day I got a text from him man shivering in red jumperinforming me that he’d spent most of the day taking the central heating boiler to pieces as he’d thought it wasn’t working, only to find that ‘somebody’ had turned off the switch for it on the wall. Oops! My bad.

Of course, I apologised. A lot! But also couldn’t help finding it rather amusing. Mistake number two.

My next mistake was to decide it would be really funny to write a poem for him about the incident. So I did. See below:

The Iceman Cometh…

“I was only trying to help,” said honey.
It really wasn’t meant to be funny.
When I turned off the switch,
I didn’t know it would be such a hitch,
I was just trying to save you some money.”

He growled “You turned off the heat!
The cat and I have such cold feet.”
“I think you should chill out,”
Said honey, her lip beginning to pout.
He glared, “I suggest you beat a hasty retreat,
Before I mete the worst spanking in creation
So you can’t sit down upon your own seat.

This is hereby official Domly notification
That I am taking immediate action to provoke a reaction
On your bottom.

That you’re going to be admonished,
I really don’t think you can be astonished.
You need a controlled, methodical lesson
Delivered with calculation, conviction and precision
Upon convection, conduction and radiation in relation
To the consequences
Of heat deprivation in extreme frost.

This you will receive, to your cost,
Until you learn that the fifth law of thermodynamics,
And the final, immutable and invariable law of universal physics,
No matter in which ‘brane, population or dimension, is:
‘Do not let honey press any buttons or switches, please.'”

If she ever does it again,
He’ll probably manage to count to ten,
But no doubt she will be told
That revenge is a dish best served cold.

_____

I sent it off to him by email, laughing my ass off as I pressed send. And his reply?

“Occasionally one has to tell subbies to stop digging.

More rarely they are advised to put down the shovel.

Once or twice they have been advised not to use a JCB.

The advice this time runs along the lines of: “Send back the dragline excavator, and pay off the teams of navvies, since the present hole is more of a meteorite crater”.

I do suspect that a glowing object will be found in it’s depths though.”

_____

Oops again! Being a Domly sort, of course, the next time I saw him, I did indeed get ‘the worst spanking in creation’. Well it certainly felt like it at the time ;).

So, after that little tale, what can you win, and what do you need to do? Click here to go to the main Winter Spanks Blog Hop page to see what the grand prizes are.

I’m also giving away an ebook copy of Coming, Ready or Not! Three Tales of Tease and Denial, and all you have to do is comment below and don’t forget to leave me your email address so I can send you the ebook if you win :).

Rules for the Blog Hop:
Follow the links to read the blogs–comment on the blog to prove you were there (or answer the participant’s specific question, if they have one). COPY AND PASTE COMMENTS WILL BE DISQUALIFIED! Each comment earns you one entry for the grand prize. You must provide your email address for your entry to count. Individual pages may also have their own form of entry (Rafflecopter, etc) for additional chances to win prizes. Enjoy all the free stories, posts, & fun!

Winners will be announced on Monday 6th January.

Apparently the Link List isn’t working at the mo, so here’s a full list of the participants so you can carry on hopping :):

1. Spanking Romance Reviews

About Liv

Writer of #BDSM #erotica - M/f D/s. Lover of corsets, shoes, chocolate and my beautiful cat :). On Pinterest @LivHoneywell and Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/LivHoneywell

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  • Sandy Pochapin

    Nice poem! Don’t you just hate that, when you think you’re helping and you’re not?

    sandypo@Verizon.net

  • Laurel Lasky

    Cute poem. She was just trying to help, but ended with a big yelp.

  • Brittany

    Poems love them, helping with the best intentions!! bw2323bro@yahoo.com

  • amy bowens

    Such a creative poem! I loved it! Don’t you just hate it when you tried to help out and you end being the one doing the wrong thing at least you got a spanking lol all I get is lots of yelling! Have a nice day!
    amybowens34@yahoo.com

  • Patty Devlin

    Isn’t it funny how men overreact like tearing the machine apart before trying the swithc? I love the poem, you are undoubtedly much more creative and courageous than I. 😉

  • Tara Finnegan

    ROFL Liv, What a great poem. But I can see how it might not have helped your cause any 😀 If you had any idea how many times I have to check the thermostat, boiler, timer switch and other tricks the hubby has up his sleeve to sneak the heating down and how many hours I spend second guessing him, you would begin to realise how much empathy I have with Mr Domly himself. It’s a constant battle in this house, from October to March.

    tarafinneganromance@gmail.com

  • La Crimson Femme

    Oh dear, someone got a hurt, real bad… hehhee. The poem is quite funny. Glad to see you received a justified spanking. hehehe

    lacrimsonfemme at gmail dot com

  • Tony Walsh

    Great Poem! I think it was a nice breath of fresh air! Thank you for sharing it! thecoverartisan@gmail.com

  • bn100

    Fun poem

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

  • ghwasd

    Yay! What a great lyrical treat! ghwasd at gmail dot com

  • cat

    LOL Liv…really enjoyed your poem. 😉

    Blessings…
    Cat catsbrighteyes at gmail dot com

  • Natasha Knight

    That was very cute and fun Liv. Keep writing what you normally write though… 😉 I say that with a smile!! xoxo

    Natasha Knight natasha-knight@outlook.com

  • His First Mate

    Very cute poem! It was fun to read something different!

    hisfirstmate2011 at gmail.com

  • Tammy Faris

    OMG! That was freakin’ hilarious and AWESOME!!!
    tammyfaris1966 at gmaildotcom

  • Katherine Deane

    funny and sarcastic!

    I love text play!

    That was fun reading something different! Thanks!

    Sorry about the lack of heat on his part, and extra heat on yours.

    🙂

    Katherinedeane40 at gmail dot com

  • Kelsey Summer

    Oops! My son turned off the oil burner once at my parents house. They were quite upset when they finally figured out why their heat wasn’t working. But no spankings there.

    kesummer69(at)gmail(dot)com

  • Kathryn R. Blake

    Oh, wow! Yup, you sort of dug your own hole that time, didn’t you. You’re heart was in the right place, but your fingers hit the wrong switch. Sigh. Great story, Liv. Thanks for sharing.

    krblake@kathrynrblake.com

  • Constance Masters

    Very funny poem! It never occurred to him to look at the switch? Men!
    constancemasters@gmail.com

  • Celeste Jones

    Very clever! Nicely done! Celestejones215@rocketmail.com

  • Abigail Armani

    A great little poem – a real treat.
    abigailarmani2@gmail.com

  • Catherine

    It’s clever…Although I don’t entirely understand his reply. Iy must be over my head…LOL.
    capefearlibn at gmail dot com

  • I think this subbie (you!) was trying to get a spanking out of this! Heehee it worked! I love reading about real life stories! corinnealexander4@gmail.com

  • Sue Lyndon

    LOL funny poem and story, LIv! Happy Winter Spanks! authorsuelyndon at gmail.com

  • Linds B

    Very clever poem 🙂
    Lburger1908 at gmail dot com

  • Karen

    LOL! Great poem. Can’t believe he didn’t check the switch first!
    whitk22222227@gmail.com

  • amber

    It’s good to find a creative way to get a spanking. 😉
    window3579@hotmail.com

  • Tracey Horton

    Enjoyed the poem Thanks for sharing!! Happy New Year to you!!
    bhorton1@rochester.rr. com

  • Maddie Taylor

    oohh, I so wanted to hear about the worst spanking in creation 🙁 great real life experience. Thanks for sharing. maddietaylorromance@gmail.com

  • kfemme

    Interesting situation and cute poem.
    kfemme at sbcglobal dot net

  • ed

    It was his fault, he should get the spanking…Ed F/M
    caddydlr@google.com

  • Shadow

    lol! You definitely know how to dig your holes! At least your bottom will be warm in them! lol That was so fun to read! You should share more stories! I bet you two have a lot! 😛 Thank you!
    shadowluvs2read(at)gmail(dot)com

  • Hi all 🙂

    Thank you so much for all the lovely comments on my post. I loved reading them all.

    Thanks also for the support from those who say it’s his fault and he should have checked the switch. Somehow, I don’t think I’ll be telling him that though lol.

    I hope you all had a great time on the blog hop. I know I did :).

    So, it’s time to pick a winner for a copy of my book, Coming, Ready or Not.

    And the winner is…

    Drum roll…

    Catherine!

    Congrats, Catherine, and thanks to everyone else for taking part.

    Liv

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