The Rules of BDSM
I’m delighted to be taking part in the BDSM Blog Hop this week :).
Bondage & Discipline, Domination & submission, Sadism & Masochism.
That’s what BDSM stands for, and there’s so much I could talk about, but one thing I often hear, and really wish I didn’t, is people in the lifestyle doubting themselves and wondering if they are doing things the right way, purely because someone else has come along and given them usually unsolicited advice on the ‘Rules of BDSM.’
Well, the only ‘rule’ of BDSM is that you should do what suits you and your partner or partners. There really is no One True Way set of etched in granite commandments, handed down generation by generation from THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO DO BDSM!
I’ve made that last bit in capitals and shouty on purpose, because people who come out with that sort of rubbish usually do tend to be quite insistent that they’re right, often to the point of getting shouty when people don’t automatically fall to their knees and agree with them. They’re usually the ones who insist that there is only one (their!) way to ‘do’ BDSM, and that everyone else is DOING IT WRONG!
If you and yours are enjoying it (whatever that means to you), you’re doing it safely and consensually, and you’re not upsetting or disturbing anyone else with what you’re doing, then, really, what’s the problem? It’s none of Uber McShoutyPant’s business!
Following on from that, some people are absolutely fixated on labeling everything, and everybody. If you really want to call your dominant ‘Master’, ‘Sir’ or Bob (obviously if that’s his name. He might find it a teeeny bit strange, otherwise!) then that’s up to you and him, and nobody else; whether you consider yourself a slave, a sub, a bottom, a switch, or anything else. And whether you fit neatly into someone else’s definition of those terms or not. Call him (or her) what suits you both. Call him His Grand Most High Imperial Squishy Cheeks if you really want to, though I don’t recommend it :).
Note 1: I am not responsible for any or all spankings or other punishments that may be handed out for trying this.
Note 2: If you must do it, I suggest doing it from quite a distance with a biiiig running head start.
Note 3: No, I’m not daft enough to have tried it myself.
Note 4: Please let me know what happens if you do try it 😉
So that’s it really. No big, long, scary list of ‘MUST’s. Just play safely and consensually, and have fun!
Now, you’re probably looking for the giveaway at this point, and here it is:
I’m giving away an ebook copy of Coming, Ready or Not! Three Tales of Tease and Denial and all you have to do is leave a comment below.
Here’s the blurb and a short excerpt:
Meet Will and Abby. An ordinary couple that you wouldn’t give a second glance at if they were walking down the street. Except they share a wonderful secret and bond as they explore their Master/slave relationship.
This is a loving couple, full of good humour, but nothing in any relationship is perfect and sometimes things go wrong. Even the strongest will in the world can’t always obey and with that comes consequences…
Three vignettes, The Edge, Bad Girl, and Breathless focus on control. Can Abby be taken to the edge of pleasure and not cross over? She wants to obey and to hold on. But can she? And what will happen to her if she can’t?
Holding on has never felt so good…
Warning: This book is adults only. It contains adult language, caning, spanking, face slapping, gags, a brief mention of anal sex and orgasm denial
Excerpt:
“Will, please.”
“Excuse me? I think you mean ‘Sir,’ and do you really think this is up to you?”
“Er, no, Sir. I guess not. I’m sorry.”
“I should think so. Now lie back. Go on.”
I lie back against the chair. I don’t have another choice anyway. My legs are spread wide apart and strapped tightly to the chair legs, so I couldn’t close them if I wanted to, and my arms are tied behind my back and then secured to the back of the chair frame. I’m really not going anywhere until my Lord and Master lets me.
You grin at me, knowing full well that there’s nothing I can do.
I narrow my eyes. “You evil b…”
You grab my chin and force me to look into your eyes.
“I really don’t think you want to finish that sentence, Abby. I wouldn’t advise it.”
You continue circling my clit with just the tip of your finger, as you have been doing, agonisingly slowly, for the last few minutes. I moan and throw my head back.
“Oh, please, Sir. Please may I come?”
You pretend to consider my request, as if you haven’t already made up your mind. “Hmmmm, no. No, I don’t think so.” You run your other hand over my breasts, pausing to tweak first one nipple and then the other.
“You need to learn that this body does not belong to you any more. It belongs to me and it’s up to me if you get any pleasure and up to me when and how. Understand?”
“Ye…he…Yes, Sir”, I pant, trying desperately to hold on.
“Good girl.” You grin evilly again. “Besides I’m nowhere near done teasing you yet. I’m having far too much fun enjoying that lovely tortured expression on your face.”
I let out another low moan, born of frustration and desire; at the same time feeling a tingling warmth and excitement in my stomach at your dominance over me.
Your touch builds me dangerously close to orgasm again, leaving me hovering right there on the edge. I try to think of something else, anything else. What are we having for dinner? What shall I make? Are we out of peas? Or perhaps His Domliness will decide he wants to go out when he has finished working up an appetite by torturing me!
The thought brings me right back into the room, back to the sensation of your fingers sliding in and out of me, your thumb lightly rubbing my clit ever closer, ever nearer. I buck in my seat, half torn between wanting to push myself forward against your thumb, wanting release so badly, and not wanting to let you down by coming without permission.
“Sirrrr,” I groan.
“Yes, Abby. What can I do for you? Do you want me to stop? Good idea!”
You remove your hand from my pussy and I let out an animal yelp of frustration. Oh God. This is the third time you have brought me to the brink of orgasm and I really don’t know how much more I can stand.
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Don’t forget to visit all the great blogs who are taking part in the blog hop 🙂
